flat tire

The sound of a tire on a steel rim went by me the other night. I wanted to yell at the driver to pull over, but they were soon too far ahead of me and then gone. Thoughts went through my head about the cost of damaged tires.

I have been feeling that way for awhile. Simply flat. The air was gone. I hadn't had any time away from work, and the stress was getting to me. The stress of nursing can be overwhelming at time.
Everyone wants something or needs something from me. A baby cries, a mother is exhausted, a doctor is angry, and a co worker needs a listening ear. It is costly to my soul.

Who takes care of me?

This past Lenten season for me was trying to stay away from exhaustion in people form.
They are in everyone's life. Those that just take, take, take and dump, dump, dump.
They push me off Humpty Dumpty's wall.

So putting myself together again is hard. Something I have learned is that I can't do it by myself.
I need divine intervention when I get like that.

I received it in a quick trip to NC where a pastor said a simple prayer over me, and I felt the tears come.
My soul was found from a tired and stress-filled lost place.

I heard a story this week about a baby that had so much air around its heart that it wasn't pumping. The nurses did CPR until the doctor could get the air out. When that happened, the little heart started pumping and the baby started to breathe.

I feel like that at times. I need CPR so I can start to breathe again. I need renewal. I pray and hope and wait for it to come. It comes sometimes by someone saying a prayer. Other times, when a friend speaks hope to me, or I get out in nature and feel the earth under my feet. It's never the same.
I can't recreate when I am not the Creator.

Serving has a cost to it. Renewal brings my soul back to a centered place.
Keeping myself in the balance of life is hard, but in order to serve well, it is a must.

I don't like that sound of screeching steel on the road.